Title: A Not Quite So Secret Admirer

Author: ???

Giftee: Stormypups

Word Count: 17, 106

Rating: Adult (NC-17)

Pairing: Harry/Snape

Warnings: DH minus the Epilogue

Disclaimer: I’m not JKR and never will be.

Summary: Harry has a secret admirer that is driving him a bit crazy.

 

Harry ducked as the school owl swooped low and dropped a package on his head. Luckily it wasn’t a heavy package, or breakable, and it just bounced off his head and landed in his porridge. He glared at the owl as it flew back out the window without waiting for a treat and began mopping up the mess.

“What’d you get, Harry?” Ron asked, spraying the table between them with toast crumbs.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Hermione scolded and handed Harry an extra napkin. “And it’s obvious he won’t know until he opens it.”

Harry glared at them both before turning his attention to the package. It wasn’t a small package, though it certainly wasn’t large. Harry frowned and opened it, a note falling into his lap. Hermione reached out and snatched it away before Harry could retrieve it. Harry yelped and glared at her, but she only grinned unrepentantly. Harry opened the package and frowned. “Chocolate.” He held out his hand. “What’s the note say?”

“Nothing,” Hermione said, placing the note in Harry’s hand and peering into the box.

From your secret admirer Harry frowned.

“Who sent you chocolate?” Ron asked, reaching for a piece only to have Hermione smack his hand away.

“It’s for Harry,” Hermione scolded.

“Secret admirer,” Harry answered absently. “Who…….?” He looked up and down the Gryffindor table. Everyone was eating breakfast, paying no attention to the little drama over Harry’s box of chocolates. Almost everyone. Harry frowned. “I told her….” Harry stood and started down the table, only to have Hermione grab at his sleeve.

“It wasn’t Ginny.”

“She’s been following me around and making calf’s eyes at me since I told her I was gay.” Harry glared at the box that Hermione held in her hands. “And it wouldn’t be the first time that someone has tried to dose me with a love potion.”

Hermione gasped. “It’s not Ginny. Ginny wouldn’t do --”

“Oi, Ginny!” Hermione and Harry both started and turned to watch Ron stalk along the table toward his sister. “What’s the big idea? What do you think you’re playing at?”

Ginny stood and propped her hands on her hips. “What are you talking about, Ron?”

Ron leaned down and spoke quietly and earnestly to Ginny. Harry took a step forward, hoping to listen in, but Hermione tugged on his arm. “It wasn’t Ginny, Harry, I’m sure of it.”

Harry frowned and looked between Ginny and Ron and Hermione. “Do you know who sent this?”

Hermione rolled her eyes and tugged Harry back to his seat. “No, Harry, I don’t, but I know it wasn’t Ginny.”

“And what makes you so certain it wasn’t her? She’s been pestering me and trying to... to…,” Harry waggled his eyebrows, “since I told her I was gay.”

Hermione patted his arm. “I know, Harry, I was there.”

“And you’re also the one that encouraged her last time,” Harry grumbled under his breath.

Hermione smacked his arm hard. “I did not.” She cleared her throat and blushed and Harry rolled his eyes.

“It wasn’t her,” Ron said as he sat down across from them again.

“Are you sure?” Harry asked quickly, glaring down the table at a teary Ginny.

Ron nodded and shoveled some eggs into his mouth. “Yep. I told her if she ever did try that, dosing someone with a love potion, I’d hex her so hard she wouldn’t wake up for a month.”

“Ron,” Hermione warned, but Ron just shrugged. “And why are you so certain that someone put a love potion in these,” she hefted the box of chocolates.

“It’s happened before,” Harry said darkly.

“Oh, honestly,” Hermione rolled her eyes and pointed her wand at the box. “You didn’t even check before you jumped to conclusions.” She waved her wand over the chocolates, frowned, and waved it again. She smiled triumphantly. “There. You see? There’s been nothing added.”

Ron frowned and nudged the box. “Still.” He glanced around the table. “Oi! Colin! Want a piece of chocolate?”

Harry laughed while Hermione scolded. But he watched Colin intently as he ate the chocolate, and when nothing adverse happened to him, jerked the chocolates away from Ron before they all disappeared. Ron protested weakly, but Harry just grinned and nibbled on a chocolate. Hermione rolled her eyes at them both and began herding them to classes. Neither one noticed as Harry smiled at the card and then tucked it into the lid of the chocolates. A secret admirer. He’d never had a secret admirer before. He only hoped it didn’t turn into a disaster. Harry tried not to think of all the ways this could go wrong.

Harry kept the chocolates hidden, knowing that any of the other boys wouldn't hesitate to help themselves if they were left in plain sight. He didn’t mind sharing with them, and even went out of his way to be generous at times, but this was different. This was just for him. And if he smiled as he read the card, or stroked the box with his fingertips when no one was looking, well, they would have teased him mercilessly if they had ever caught him at it.

With each class repeating the disrupted previous year, there were more first years than Harry had ever seen. They seemed to clog the hallways and it wasn’t unusual to see an upper year wading through a river of first years as they tried to make their way down the corridor. Harry was trapped in a seemingly never ending river of black clothed youngsters when the second parcel was dropped on his head a week after the first had arrived. A rather cheeky first year handed it up to him with a grin after it bounced off his head. Harry smiled and nodded his thanks and slowly made his way to the edge of the stream of first years. He shook his head and ducked into a handy nook to examine the latest package. Larger than the box of chocolates had been, it didn’t rattle when he shook it. He turned it over and over in his hands before stuffing it into his bag and continuing to class.

With Voldemort defeated, the curse had been broken on the Defense Against the Dark Arts post and Snape had returned after a speedy trial resulting in his acquittal. He was every bit as mean and sarcastic as he had ever been teaching potions, but no one could deny that he enjoyed teaching Defense much more than he had enjoyed teaching Potions. He still favored the Slytherins, though Slughorn was still head of house, but he was much more tolerant of the other houses, so long as they weren’t too foolish. Strangest of all was the way he treated Harry, which baffled everyone but Harry and Snape. Harry had never told anyone about Snape’s friendship with his mother, and had never even thought of speaking of it with anyone, not even with Snape when he had returned the memories with a whispered ‘‘thank you’ the first week of school.

“Ah, Mr. Potter, deigning to join us at last.”

Harry glared halfheartedly and took his seat beside Ron and Hermione.

“Since we are all here now, perhaps you would care to demonstrate the defensive charms I attempted to teach you last week.”

Harry rolled his eyes and waited for Snape to call on him. It never failed, and Harry wasn’t sure if it was an attempt to pick on Harry or if it was because Harry was actually quite adept at Defense, but Snape always called on him to help demonstrate whatever Snape was teaching that day. The first week Harry had managed to startle Snape when he handily held Snape off during a duel. After that, Snape never held back and they both seemed to enjoy sparring with each other. That was just the first thing that baffled the other students. Much more confusing to everyone else, Snape didn’t take points off Harry without a reason and even seemed to go out of his way to treat Harry fairly, almost as he had always treated Malfoy before the war.

“Mr. Potter.”

Harry grinned and got to his feet, already feeling the rush of adrenaline as he and Snape moved into the familiar dueling stance.

He forgot about the package until he was digging through his bag looking for a quill that night while he was working on homework in the common room.

“Ooh, another package,” Hermione cooed excitedly. “From your secret admirer again?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Probably. Do you mind if I open it before you start getting sentimental?”

Hermione huffed and sat back in her chair. “Fine.” She glared at Ron, who was sniggering at her from across the table, and stuck her nose in her potions text.

Harry rolled his eyes. “It is my gift, you know.” Hermione sniffed and didn’t answer. Ron chuckled and turned his attention to his charms homework. Harry shook the box but heard nothing from inside. He shrugged and tore the paper off, looking for a card but not finding one. Inside the small white box was a bundle of damp cloth and nestled inside the cloth was a small green plant with shiny green leaves and small green pods attached. Harry frowned and stroked a finger over one shiny leaf. “Okay, Hermione, you can look now.””

Hermione sniffed. “Are you sure you want my input?”

“Well, if you don’t want to see--”

“No, I do,” Hermione interrupted quickly and leaned over. ““Hmm, I don’t recognize that plant. It might not even be magical.””

Ron leaned over as well. “It looks familiar though. Did we use it in potions?”

Hermione shrugged. “Possibly. I don’t recognize it, though. I certainly don’t know what it is.”

“Was there a note?” Ron asked, poking at a shiny pod.

Harry slapped his hand away and lifted the plant and the damp cloth out of the box. In the bottom was a small scroll. Harry frowned. “Ashwagandha Root? Have you ever heard of that?”

Hermione shook her head, looking suddenly pleased. “We’ll need to go to the library and research it.”

Ron groaned while Hermione grinned at them. Harry shook his head and replaced the plant carefully in its box. He glanced around the room as he pulled his homework out of his bag and his eyes fell on Neville sitting across the room whispering to Trevor II. Harry’s eyes narrowed as he studied Neville. A box of chocolates could have come from anyone. But a plant as a gift meant something. Harry shook his head and packed his books up again. “I’m going to the library.”

Hermione jumped and reached for her own bag. “Hold on. I’ll go with you.”

Harry sighed and smiled at Hermione. “Hermione, I know you get a very special thrill every time you go to the library, but you don’t have to go there every time someone mentions it around you.”

Ron guffawed and elbowed Hermione, who blushed and gasped. “Harry Potter, I can’t believe you said that.”

Harry grinned and smiled as he lifted his bag to his shoulder. “Why don’t you stay here and study with Ron?” he said innocently.

Ron waggled his eyebrows and smiled at Hermione, who turned even pinker. ““Yeah, Hermione.” Ron scooted his chair closer to Hermione. “I think I might need a little help with these charms of mine.”

“Ronald Weasley, you watch your mouth.” Hermione shoved playfully at him, but then giggled and leaned her head close to Ron’s.

Harry rolled his eyes and left them alone. He glanced in Neville’s direction on his way out of the room and was surprised to see Neville watching him. He gave Neville a wave and was astonished to see Neville blush and look away quickly. Harry paused outside of the portrait hole. It would be natural for Neville to think of sending a plant as a gift. But could Neville possibly be his secret admirer? Neville had always been friendly with Harry and he had always liked Neville. They also had a lot in common: both orphaned, both uncertain of their place in the world, both targets of Voldemort and Death Eaters. Harry shrugged and slowly walked toward the library. Maybe Neville was his secret admirer. It made sense in a way. Harry had always felt a bit of empathy for Neville, and Neville had certainly proven himself during the Battle of Hogwarts.

Harry glanced around as he entered the library, checking to make sure there weren’t any hangers-on or people looking to cause trouble. It had been a while since he’d had a chance to get away from Ron and Hermione and he had begun to worry if he’d be able to catch up on all the studying he had missed. He glanced around again, certain he looked suspicious, but no one approached him.

Madam Pince had proved surprisingly supportive when he had asked her for help last October. Since then, she had always smiled and nodded approvingly when Harry came to the library. She had turned out to be very helpful when Harry had explained what he wanted to study and that he didn’t want a lot of people to know and start making a fuss. She had even taken to setting aside texts for him. Harry didn’t even hesitate as he walked up to her desk.

“Mr. Potter,” Pince looked up with a small smile. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d given up on your quest.”

Harry grinned. “Not yet. I just haven’t been able to get away for a while. Anything new for me?”

Pince reached into a drawer and pulled out several books. “I found several texts that are referenced specifically in the qualifying exams. I also found a new treatise on the treatment of victims of the Cruciatus curse.”

Harry glanced at the books before digging in his bag and pulling out the box he had received. “I got this from… someone,” he shrugged. “I don’t know what it is and I’m not sure where to look.”

Pince looked over the edge of her glasses at the plant in the box. “You’re not going to leave that out in my library, are you?”

Harry smiled. “It’s staying in the box. I just want a reference so I can figure out what it is.”

Pince sniffed and studied the plant for a moment. “Well, I can direct you to the herbology section or,” she paused and smiled at him, “if you prefer, you can get started with those and I’ll see what I can find.”

Harry nodded and gathered the books she had saved for him and made his way to the table hidden in a corner by a window that provided a perfect hiding place from distractions and anyone who came looking for him. The texts Pince had found for him were rather dry, save for the more recent one on the Cruciatus curse and he set that one aside intending to check it out later. He took a deep breath and pulled the other three books back toward him. It wasn’t long before he was completely engrossed in the text and didn’t notice the shadow approaching his table.

“Skulking about again, Potter?”

Harry jumped and looked up guiltily but then smiled as Snape swooped closer to the table. “Just trying to study, Professor.”

Snape sniffed and tugged Harry’s book out of his hands. “Bertrand’s Physiology? You’re determined to continue on this course then?”

“Why’d you think I’d change my mind?”

“It is a difficult program, Potter. You may be accepted on your name but they will still require you to prove yourself before they let you near a patient.”

“I know,” Harry said shortly. “Why do you think I’m studying?”

Snape handed the book back to Harry. “Took my advice and asked the librarian for help, didn’t you?” Harry flushed and mumbled under his breath. He looked up and was surprised to see an honest smile on Snape’s face. “I see she’s also provided Healing Curses.”

Harry nodded. “I’m checking that one out. It looked pretty interesting.”

“Pendacol has a way with words. He has also been influential in many of the advances made in recovering from dark curses.” Snape tapped a finger on the cover. “I daresay if you find it useful you should consider purchasing your own copy. If you are intent on this career it is not too early to begin building your own medical library.”

“I’ll think about it. I just, er,” Harry looked away.

“You think you will not find support?”

Harry shrugged. “You and Madam Pince have been supportive, but everyone else seems to think I should go into Auror training.”

“Your life is your own, Potter.”

“It’s never felt like it.”

Snape braced his hands on the table and leaned toward Harry. “Then take control of it.” Snape stood and glared down at Harry. “I’ve lived nearly my entire life answering to one powerful wizard or another. Don’t let them force you to become what they want you to be.”

Harry nodded and stared up at Snape, wide eyed. Snape sniffed and whirled away. Harry stared after him, remembering the memories Snape had given him and wondering what Snape had wanted to do with his life before he fell into Voldemort’s snare. Harry pulled Pendacol’s book forward and opened the cover. He didn’t know if he was going to specialize in anything, but then thought again of Neville and everyone else who was still suffering from some of the curses cast by Voldemort and the Death Eaters. It wouldn’t hurt to consider the possibilities of specializing in something.

Harry lost track of time and only noticed how late it had become when the light around him began to dim, warning the occupants that the library was closing. He sighed and gathered up his books, pausing on his way at the desk to check out the Pendacol book, return the other texts for Pince to hold for him until later, and to accept the herbology book she had found for him. He stopped on the way back to Gryffindor to search the book until he found the plant.

Ashwagandha is a plant which has long been used medicinally. It is used in traditional Indian and African medicine as an anti-inflammatory, for fever relief, and against infectious disease. Many believe Ashwagandha to be effective in stimulating the immune system. It also appears to inhibit swelling and aid memory and can act as a general health tonic.^*1

Harry frowned and closed the book, glancing at the title for the first time. Muggle and Magical Herbs Around the World. Harry shook his head. Nobody knew yet that he wanted to become a Healer. Well, just Snape and Pince. But maybe Ashwagandha wasn’t only a medicinal plant.

“You saved the world, Mr. Potter, but that does not give you license to loiter about the hallways after hours.”

Harry jumped and the book fell on the floor as Snape spoke from the shadows. Harry scooped the book up and turned to glare at Snape. “I’m not loitering.”

Snape arched a brow. “Indeed. But you are not a prefect nor are you Head Boy, and yet here you are, after hours, in a hallway.” Snape gestured toward the book in Harry’s hand. “At least I can be certain you are not up to mischief.”

Harry grinned. “No, I’m not. And I just wanted to finish reading something before I went back to Gryffindor.”

“I always suspected it was impossible to study in the midst of that boisterous company.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “It’s not that bad.”

“And yet you feel the need to slink off to the library in order to study.”

“I don’t slink.”

“No,” Snape sneered, “you sneak.”

Harry laughed and shook his head. “Fine.”

“On your way, Potter.” Harry had reached the end of the corridor before Snape called out, “And ten points from Gryffindor.”

Harry turned and glared halfheartedly before turning and heading back to the common room. Ron and Hermione had disappeared and Harry suspected they had found a dark corner to snog in. He refused to consider they might be doing anything else. Ginny gave him a sad glance from across the room and Harry hurried up to the 7^th years’ dormitory before she could catch him. He sighed and leaned back against the door. He doubted that Ginny would have tried anything after Ron talked to her again last week. But she was also rather tenacious and seemed to get odd ideas about turning Harry heterosexual again. He shook his head and settled onto his bed, preparing to study the book on medicinal plants a bit more when the door opened again and Neville came inside.

“Oh, er, hello, Harry,” Neville stammered and blushed.

“Hi, Neville.” Harry frowned. “Everything alright?”

“Oh, sure,” Neville answered airily as he walked casually toward the trunk setting beside his bed. “Just, you know, getting ready for NEWTs and stuff.”

“Right.” Harry turned back to his book and considered the plant again. Harry took a deep breath. “Um, Neville?”

Neville jumped and the lid of his trunk slammed down on his hand. “Ow!”

“Neville!” Harry jumped up and grabbed Neville’s wrist, inspecting his hand closely. “It looks alright. I mean, there’s no broken skin.” He poked at the hand, grimacing when Neville hissed. “I don’t think any bones are broken.” He pulled his wand. “But just in case, you know, an anti-inflammatory charm will help with the swelling and pain.” Harry glanced up at Neville who was staring at Harry with an odd expression. “Er, unless you’d rather see Madam Pomfrey.”

Neville shook his head. “No, that’s okay, Harry.”

Harry nodded and cast the charm. Neville sighed and nodded. “Thanks, that’s a lot better. How’d you know that charm?”

Harry shrugged and stepped back. “I’ve been doing some extra studying. Actually, I’ve, er, been studying a while. Medicinal stuff.” Harry blushed, looked away, then looked back at Neville. “I’m thinking, actually, of becoming a healer.”

Neville stared a moment then grinned. “That’s great, Harry. I think you’d be a great healer.”

Harry released a deep breath. “Really? I mean, you don’t…… you don’t think it’s weird? That I want to be a healer instead of an auror?”

Neville shrugged. “Not really. You can do whatever you want, Harry. And I think it’s great you want to do something to help instead of chasing dark wizards all the time.”

Harry collapsed onto Ron’s bed, his knees suddenly weak. “I haven’t wanted to tell anyone. Everyone’s always expected me to be an auror.”

“I know Ron thinks that. And Hermione and Dean and Seamus.” Neville chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Everyone does expect you to be an auror. But it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to disappoint them.”

“But then you’d just be disappointing yourself,” Neville answered softly. “You’re the one that has to live your life, Harry. What does it matter if you disappoint your friends if you’re miserable with your life?”

Harry nodded. “Wow, Neville. Thanks. I…” he gulped. “I really needed to hear that.”

Neville grinned. “And you already made my hand feel better.”

Harry blushed. “Yeah, well, you should probably have Madam Pomfrey look at it. Just in case.” Neville grinned at him and Harry shifted uncertainly. “Actually, Neville, I, er, wanted to ask you something.” Harry cleared his throat. “I’ve, er, been getting gifts. From a secret admirer. Lately. And I, er, I mean. It’s okay. I don’t mind. But I just wanted to tell you, if it was you, that--”

“It’s not me,” Neville yelped. “I’m not gay!”

Harry flushed. “Oh. I didn’t mean to say, you know, that I liked you, or anything. I mean, I do,” Harry laughed nervously. “I mean, I do like you. You’re a great friend.”

Neville laughed. “I understand. It’s alright.”

Harry grinned and nodded. “But, um, you’ve been acting a little weird around me, Neville.”

Neville blushed. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry.”

Harry reached across and patted his knee. “It’s alright, Neville.”

Neville took a deep breath. “Right. It’s just, you know. I’ve always kind of had a crush on Ginny. And you two dated, and, well.”

“I’m gay, Neville.”

“I know, Harry.”

“Then what’s the problem.”

“The problem is that she’s still hung up on you and won’t pay attention to anyone else,” Neville said shortly. “And the times I’ve tried to talk to her she’s all like ‘Oh, Harry’s just going through a phase and he really loves me’.”

“But I don’t,” Harry said shortly. “And it’s not a phase.”

“Try telling her that.”

Harry sighed. “Yeah, I know. So why have you been acting weird around me.”

Neville flushed. “Cause I thought maybe she was right. I mean, you’re not dating anyone or anything.”

“I’ve been busy,” Harry protested. “I mean, it’s not easy sneaking around studying healing on the sly, you know.”

Neville chuckled. “I’m sure it’s not.”

Harry grinned. “Look, Neville, if you like Ginny, just talk to her.”

“I have, Harry,” Neville answered slowly. “She just can’t get over you.”

“Well she’s going to have to,” Harry answered firmly. “Maybe I can talk to her. Or I can talk to Ron and he can talk to her.”

Neville’s face paled dramatically. “Oh, no, don’t tell Ron.”

Harry laughed. “Come on, Neville. Ron thinks you’re a great guy. He’s been really helpful lately, especially when I told him I was gay. He’s talked to Ginny several times when she wouldn’t leave me alone. And you’d be great for Ginny. She’d be lucky to have you.”

It was alarming the way Neville’s face went from stark white to deep red in a matter of seconds. “I’ll think about it.” Neville cleared is throat and the blush faded away. “I’ll talk to Ron if you talk to him about becoming a healer.”

Harry’s mouth fell open then he grinned at the sly expression on Neville’s face. “Why, Neville, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

They both laughed and later, as Harry was hiding the medicinal books and getting ready for bed, he realized he felt better knowing that someone else knew he wanted to be a healer. Maybe he could talk to Ron and Hermione about it. But then the week sped by and there was never a chance to talk to them, though he quickly discovered that if he encouraged them to spend more time alone with each other he had more time to sneak off to the library.

Ginny seemed to stop sending such desperate glances his way after Harry had quietly mediated a meeting between Neville and Ron when Neville admitted his crush on Ginny. Harry was amazed at the way Ron managed to be a concerned big brother and at the same time step back and let Neville take his chance with Ginny. Harry couldn’t help but smile at the way Ron had grown up in the past year and a half. Hermione, on the other hand, was torn between scolding Ron for, as she put it, interfering in Ginny’s ability to make her own decisions and her belief that Neville really was good for Ginny. Harry gave a great sigh of relief every time he thought of the way Neville seemed to always be there to steer Ginny away whenever she got a determined look on her face and approached Harry.

The next three weeks passed quickly and without the arrival of another package from his admirer, Harry shrugged it off and put the entire mystery out of his mind. He did manage to corner Neville and ask him about the Ashwagandha Root. Neville ooed and awed over it and demanded a cutting while cautioning Harry not to eat it. Harry handed it over to Neville who carefully took his cutting and applied a drying charm on it at Harry’s request, having learned from his research that it was more useful as a potion ingredient if it were dried.

NEWTs were six weeks away, which sent Hermione, and by extension everyone around her, into a dither, and Harry knew that only a month after NEWTs were the qualification exams for entering St. Mungo’s Healer Program for the next September. Harry was determined to be in that cohort. Madam Pince turned into a godsend, keeping Harry supplied with medical texts and even finding an old exam, several decades out of date, but it still gave Harry an idea of what might appear on the exam in July. With classes, studying, consoling Hermione over her test anxiety, and pushing Neville toward Ginny, Harry was caught completely off guard when the next package arrived.

Harry eyed the package suspiciously, certain now that it wasn’t from Ginny or Neville and also relatively certain that the person didn’t mean him any harm no matter that he wished to remain anonymous. For once, Hermione and Ron weren’t there to watch him open it. Neville had Ginny cornered in the common room and he could never keep track of what Dean and Seamus were up to. So there was no one to keep him from sneaking off to the dormitory and there was no one there to watch and tease as he opened the package.

The book that tumbled from the wrapping made Harry gasp. First, it was old, extremely old and obviously well preserved. Harry hesitated before he turned it over, certain that if he touched it the magic protecting the book would disappear and it would disintegrate in his fingers. But then when he did turn it over and he saw the title, it slipped from his fingers again. Every text Harry had been studying for the past eight months had referenced Corpus Hippocraticum. Corpus Hippocraticum was the definitive work for both muggle and magical medicine, though muggles had no idea that a number of spells had been carefully edited from their copies. Corpus Hippocraticum was the one work that every healer needed on their shelf. And no one outside the healing profession would even think twice about looking at Corpus Hippocraticum.

Harry turned the wrapper over and found the note that had been attached to the inside of the paper. Harry’s breath caught when he read it: I thought perhaps that you could use this in your studies. You’ll make a wonderful Healer. Good luck. From Your Secret Admirer. His secret admirer knew he wanted to be a healer. He already knew it wasn’t Neville. He hadn’t told anyone else. Madam Pince knew, but that was too awful to contemplate and the way she treated Harry, while better than his first six years, was still disdainful at times. Who else knew?

Snape. Snape knew. Snape was even supportive, albeit in a sarcastic way, but still…. He certainly treated Harry with more respect, though he could hardly treat Harry worse than he had before he had shared his memories. Harry gulped remembering how Snape had felt about his mother; maybe Snape had transferred his affection for his mother to Harry.

He traced the faded gold lettering on the cover. It was an amazing gift, more than suitable for a Healer’s library.

Harry gulped and gathered the book and card to his chest. It was time to call in reinforcements. And to finally admit to his friends that he was going to be a healer. Harry only hoped they took the news as well as Neville had.

Ron and Hermione were sitting at table in a corner of the common room, studying for once instead of making doe eyes at each other, when Harry entered the Common Room. He slid into a seat across from them. “I need your help.””

Hermione marked her place and set her book aside. “Of course, Harry. You know I’ll do anything I can.”

“Sure, mate,” Ron said with a grin as he slammed his book shut. “You know I’m always happy to set aside homework to help you.”

Harry grinned weakly. “Right.” He cleared his throat and clutched at the book on his lap. “I’ve decided not to become an auror.”

“What?!” Ron yelped at the same time Hermione sighed, “Oh, Harry.”

“But you have to.” Ron protested. “We’ve been planning it for years. We’re going to work together. We’re going to be aurors together.”

Harry shook his head. “I really don’t want to be an auror, Ron.”

“But, Harry, it’s what you’ve always wanted.”

Harry sighed. “It’s what I used to want. I’ve had enough of fighting to last me a lifetime.”

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione sighed and sniffled and patted Harry's hand. “So what do you want to do now?”

He took a deep breath. “I want to be a healer.”

“A healer!” Ron shouted.

Hermione nodded. “That’s wonderful, Harry, honestly.”

“Do you know how long it takes to be a healer?” Ron asked viciously.

“As long as it takes to be an auror,” Harry retorted with a bit of exasperation.

Ron’s face turned red. “And do you know what kind of stuff you’ll have to do? You’ll have blood and… and other stuff all over you all the time.”

Hermione shook her head, “Oh, Ron.”

“And do you think being an auror is a cleaner job?” Harry retorted, feeling anger rising up in him. “And do you really think I care about that stuff? I want to help people, for once.”

“And you think being an auror isn’t helping people?”

“I think I’m tired of being a target and I think I want to heal people instead of curse them.”

Ron opened and closed his mouth several times. “Fine!”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Is that it? Or are you going to marshal more arguments and yell at me again later?”

Ron glared at him a moment before slamming his book open again. Hermione glared at Ron before turning and simpering at Harry. “You said you needed our help.”

“Your help, Hermione,” Harry said, glaring at Ron a moment longer. He sighed at Ron’s refusal to acknowledge him and turned to Hermione. “I got this. From my secret admirer.” He hesitated a moment before giving the Corpus to Hermione.

Hermione gasped. “Harry! This must be one of the earliest copies of the Corpus Hippocraticum. It’s the one work that set the basis for medicinal practices in both the muggle and magical world.”

“I know, Hermione. I’ve been studying this stuff since October,” Harry said exasperatedly. Ron scoffed and Harry glared in his direction a moment before turning to Hermione. “But I haven’t told anyone that I want to be a healer. Not until I told you guys. I wanted you to be the first to know but was afraid that you wouldn’t support me. With good reason,” Harry sneered in Ron’s direction. “So I wondered if you could help me figure out a way to send a message back.”

Hermione traced her fingers along several pages, smiling at the book before closing the cover and handing it back to Harry. “I’m not sure, Harry. I mean, maybe with a little research I can help you trace who sent it to you, but I don’t think….” Hermione’s eyes unfocused as she lost herself in the possible research.

Harry shook his head. “It’s alright, Hermione. You study for your NEWTs. I’m sure I’ll hear from him again soon.”

Hermione blinked and focused on Harry with a smile. “I think you're doing the right thing. I mean, I always assumed you would be an auror, but if you want to be a healer, well, I think it’s wonderful.”

Harry grinned. “Thanks, Hermione. I should have known I could count on you.”

Ron slammed his book closed again and glared at Harry. “We were supposed to be aurors together, Harry.”

“I know, Ron. And I’m sorry. But I just,” Harry felt his throat close up. “I just can’t. I can’t do that again.”

Ron gulped. “Look, Harry, it’s not like I want to make you do anything you don’t want to, but, can you honestly tell me you’d rather be a healer,” Ron sneered, “than an auror? It’ll be more exciting to be an auror, don’t you think.”

“I don’t want to be an auror,” Harry bit out. ““Not anymore. I’m tired of it. I want to be a healer. I’ve been studying for the exams since October.”

“Studying on your own,” Hermione put in, a catch in her voice, though Harry wasn’t sure if she was upset that he was studying without her or proud that he was studying on his own.

“Yes, Hermione, on my own. Why do you think I’ve been encouraging you and Ron to sneak off on your own so often?” Harry grinned when Hermione and Ron exchanged a quick glance and both of them blushed. “This is something I really want to do. But I haven’t told anyone.” He sighed. “I know everyone expects me to be an auror. Everyone thinks I still want to and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.” Harry looked up at Ron. “I’m sorry, Ron. Really, I am. And I was excited about working with you. But I just….”

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione said damply, patting his hand again.

Ron nodded. “Me too.” He released a gusty sigh. “Sorry, Harry. I am disappointed that you’re not going to be auror. I thought that’s what we’d do, y’know? We’d fight the bad guys and then stop off for a pint on our way home.”

Harry grinned. “We can still meet up for a pint, you know. Just because we’re not going to work together doesn’t mean we’re not still going to be friends.”

“I know. But it won’t be the same.”

Hermione snatched at Ron’s hand and clutched at Harry’s as well. “Boys.” Hermione shook her head. “Just because we’ve done everything together as children doesn’t mean we're not going to still be friends if we have different careers as adults.”” Hermione’s chin quivered. “You’re my best friends. And you always will be.” She turned to Harry. “I’m so proud of you, Harry. I think it’s simply wonderful that you want to be a healer.” She turned to Ron. “And I’m proud of you too, Ron. You’ll make a wonderful auror.” Hermione choked on a sob, quickly gathered her books and bag and stood. “Excuse me.”” She rushed off to the girl’s dormitory.

Ron and Harry frowned after her then turned to each other. “Girls.”” They said at the same time and grinned at each other.

“So, are we alright?” Harry asked hesitantly.

Ron nodded. “Course we are. Just a bit of a shock, you know?” Ron cleared his throat. “So, you’re going to be a healer.”” He nodded. “That’ll be good, y’know?”

“What did you wretched boys do to make Hermione cry?” Harry and Ron jumped and looked up to find Lavender glaring down at them. “She's up there right now crying her eyes out.”

Ron and Harry exchanged a glance. “Er, nothing,” Harry said cautiously.

“Yeah,” Ron said. “We were just talking about our careers.”

Lavender glared at them both. “What about them?”

“It’s none of your business, Lavender,” Harry said shortly.

“It is when it makes Hermione cry.”

Harry shook his head in bewilderment. “We were just talking about how different it’s going to be when we start our careers after we leave Hogwarts.”

Lavender glared at them both a moment longer, sniffed and turned away to march back up to the girl’s dormitory. Ron and Harry turned to each other. ““Girls.” They grinned at each other and turned back to their studies.

Admitting his career choice to Ron and Hermione, despite Ron’s temporary anger, provided the impetuous to admit his decision to anyone who asked. To Harry’s surprise, and relief, Neville had been right. Most everyone could care less that Harry wanted to be a healer instead of an auror. The few exceptions were Ginny, who for some reason seemed to believe that if he were to become an auror Harry would get over his temporary ‘gayness’ and want to fall into wedded bliss with her. Harry had looked desperately at Neville when Ginny started crying at him and Neville had dragged Ginny away, grinning at Harry over her shoulder. The other exceptions were McGonagall, who seemed oddly disappointed that Harry wasn’t planning on going into a career where he could save the world every other week, and Trelawney, who was disappointed that he wouldn’t be entering a career where she could predict his bloody demise every other week. Slughorn had smiled and offered to provide Harry with additional opportunities to study medicinal potions. Pomfrey had smiled and offered Harry practical advice and an opportunity to practice basic healing spells on any unsuspecting students who showed up in the infirmary. Snape had smirked at him, but had also looked oddly proud of Harry’s decision to let others know of his choice of careers.

Which brought Harry back to Snape. Each time he opened the Corpus he was struck by the idea that Snape could be his secret admirer. He had always assumed that his secret admirer had romantic designs on him. But surely, if it were Snape…. Sure, Snape had loved his mother. But that didn’t mean that he was falling in love with Harry. And Snape could just be supporting Harry because he had loved Harry’s mother.

But what if Snape were falling in love with Harry because of Harry’s mother? Everyone always said that Harry had her eyes and Snape had seemed desperate to stare into Harry’s eyes That Day. Maybe Snape was transferring his feelings for Lily onto Harry? But Snape wasn’t gay and he knew Harry was. Everyone knew Harry was gay. So why would Snape, who couldn’t possibly be gay, be sending gifts to Harry? But if Snape were gay, and he were wooing Harry, was it because he had grown to like Harry or because of Harry’s connection to Lily? And if it was because Snape liked Harry for himself, then would Harry be able to like Snape back?

That thought resulted in a whole new set of questions. What did he think of Snape? He used to be mean, sarcastic, needlessly cruel, and downright vindictive towards Harry. But he had also been spying at the time and at least part of his actions toward Harry had to have been for self-preservation. Harry was under no uncertain terms well aware that Snape had hated his father and always would; nor was he unaware that Snape had for many years used him as a way of getting back at his father. But Snape had changed, it was obvious. And his feelings for Harry had changed as well.

“Mr. Potter.”

Harry jumped and blushed as he focused on class again. Snape was standing in front of his desk, staring down at him. Harry gulped. “Yes, sir?”

Snape sneered, “Perhaps, if you could see fit to pay attention in class, you would be able to answer the question I just put to you. As it is, ten points from Gryffindor for daydreaming. Mr. Weasley, perhaps you can answer my question.”

“I, er, sure,” Ron stammered.

Snape continued to stare down at Harry who couldn’t look away even if his life depended on it. “Mr. Weasley.” Snape repeated.

“Right.” Ron took a deep breath. “Um, is it, er, Finite Incantatum?”

Snape snorted and finally turned away from Harry to glare at Ron. “Incorrect, Mr. Weasley. If you truly wish to become an Auror, I suggest you attempt to study the material that is of greatest use to those in the profession. Ten points from Gryffindor.” Snape swept away and hovered over Terry Boot’s desk. “Perhaps we should give Ravenclaw an opportunity to lose points.” The Slytherins in the class tittered at Snape’s statement.

Terry leaned back and smirked up at Snape. “The correct incantation to break off the Cruciatus Curse is desino crucio.”

Snape smirked down at Terry. “Very good, Mr. Boot. Five points to Ravenclaw.”

Snape shot Harry an unreadable look before he continued to his lectern and Harry couldn’t help the blush that rose to his cheeks. He wondered if Snape suspected that he knew, if Snape were trying to find out if Harry knew and how he felt about it. Harry sat up straight and turned his attention to Snape. He still had greasy hair and his nose certainly hadn’t shrunk over the past year. He was skinny, almost too skinny, but he was also strong. And powerful. Harry gulped and watched the way Snape’s hands curled around the edges of the lectern or brushed over the parchment that rested there. He couldn't help but notice how Snape’s eyes shined as he discussed Defense. Or the way his voice seemed to caress each syllable he uttered. Harry felt his face heat as his cock twitched in his trousers from just listening to Snape’s voice. And then he couldn’t help but imagine how Snape’s hands would feel on him. Would he touch Harry the same way his fingers caressed the wood of his desk? What would he say to Harry? Harry shifted again as his cock hardened. He imagined Snape leaning over him, whispering in his ear, explaining how Harry was such a naughty boy to think such thoughts about his professor. Harry could almost feel those hands on him. Which is why he didn’t notice when Snape dismissed them or when most of the class filed out and why he jumped when Ron touched his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” Ron asked. “You’ve just been sitting there for the past fifteen minutes.”

Harry gulped and nodded, desperately willing his erection away. "'m fine. Just tired.”

Ron eyed him skeptically but nodded anyway. Harry gathered his things, glanced at Snape, jumped when he caught sight of Snape looking at him quizzically, and hurried out of the classroom.

“Sure you’re alright, Harry?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, fine. Think I’ll just go have a lie down during lunch.”

Ron nodded and Hermione said, “Just be sure not to sleep through charms.” She got a maternal look on her face. “And I’ll save you something to eat. You do look a bit peaked.”

Harry gave them a weak grin and waved them away. They would have looked a ‘‘bit peaked’ too if they had just been imagining Snape whispering dirty things in their ears. Harry clutched his bookbag to his chest and made his way to Gryffindor as quickly as he could. As soon as the dormitory door was shut behind him he was casting as elaborate a locking spell as he could on the door and thrusting his other hand into his robes. He moaned as he rubbed his cock through his trousers and didn’t even try to make it to his bed. He slid down the door and sat on the floor, all the while rubbing at his cock and scrambling to get his robes out of the way. He gasped and threw his head back against the door as he finally got his hand on his cock. He whimpered and fisted his cock as fast as he could, twisting his fist over the head and pushing his other hand down his trousers to roll his balls in his palm. He imagined that Snape was there with him, that Harry was leaning back against Snape’s hard chest, that Snape was gripping his thighs and forcing them wide so he could watch Harry wank. He heard Snape's voice in his ear, whispering how he wanted to fuck Harry, how he loved to watch Harry touch himself, that he was kissing Harry and sucking on Harry’s neck and Harry was arching into his fist and biting his lip to keep from crying out as he came.

Harry collapsed back against the door and closed his eyes as his breathing slowed. He wished he knew what the hell that had been about. Wanking? To thoughts of Snape? Harry groaned and waved his wand half-heartedly at the mess on his hands and trousers and shivered when the cleaning spell swept over him. He climbed to his feet and resolved to put this out of his mind. Even if it was Snape sending him the gifts, he didn’t want to wank over thoughts of Snape again.

But no matter how much Harry resolved not to, it seemed like every time he touched his cock over the next three days he thought of Snape. It didn’t matter if he were washing or pissing or trying to have a wank; any time he touched himself below the waist a vision of Snape appeared in his mind. It got to where he didn’t even want to touch himself anymore, which was a difficult concept for an eighteen year old boy to wrap his head around.

To make matters worse, Harry began to blush, stutter and drop anything in his hands whenever he set eyes on Snape. Such actions did not go unnoticed. Everyone remarked upon Harry’s newfound clumsiness. Hermione chalked it up to NEWTs anxiety. Ron was convinced that Malfoy had placed some kind of clumsiness hex on Harry and decided that his future as an auror depended upon his ability to lift said hex. Everyone else seemed to constantly ask if he was alright. And then Snape stopped him after class one day.

“Potter, are you quite alright?”

Harry blushed and dropped his bag and kept his eyes away from Snape. “I’m fine.”

Snape snorted. “Of course you are.”

Harry nodded and sidled toward the door. “Okay then. I’ll just be going.”

“Sit, Potter.”

Harry grimaced and slid into a chair. Snape, much to his chagrin, settled into a chair near him.

“I couldn’t help but notice your inattention in class the past week.”

Harry nodded and fiddled with the strap of his bag. “Just stress, you know?” Snape hummed and Harry could swear that he felt the vibration in his balls. He lifted his bag onto his lap as his cock began to harden.

“Stress. Of course.”

Harry glanced up at him, blushed, and looked away as Snape tapped a finger against his mouth.

“It occurs to me that you have led a very stressful life. And yet I have never seen you make such an error as you made today in class.”

Harry shrugged and glanced at the spot on his arm where Snape’s hex had stung him.

“Harry, has something happened?”

Harry jumped in his chair and met Snape’s eyes at the sound of his name on Snape’s lips. “No,” he squeaked and cleared his throat before he said, “Not really.”

“Harry?”

Harry clutched at his bag. “Well. Er, you know. Actually.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve been receiving gifts. From a secret admirer.”

“What kind of gifts?” Snape asked, a bit of warning in his voice.

“Just gifts. Nothing bad. But strange, you know.” Harry kept his eyes on Snape. Snape met his gaze without flinching. “They were nice. Only strange because I don’t know who they’re from. And I’d like to.”

“Indeed,” Snape said shortly.

Harry nodded and studied Snape intently. “They seem like a nice person. I’d like to thank them. In person.”

Snape leaned back and considered Harry. “And this is why you are inattentive and clumsy.”

“Yeah,” Harry answered shortly, but when Snape just stared at him he went on. “And I told everyone I wanted to be a healer. And NEWTs and everything.”

Snape hummed. “I suggest, Potter, that you attempt to sleep at night. And pay more attention in class.”

Harry nodded. “Yes, sir.”

Snape and Harry sat silently, staring at each other, for several moments. “Go, Potter.”

Harry nodded, clutched his bag to him, and hurried out, desperate to get to a bathroom before he came in his trousers. He was more convinced than ever that Snape was his secret admirer. He locked himself in a stall and got a hand down his trousers. Harry didn’t quite understand this new obsession with Snape, but he was really beginning to enjoy it.

He managed to stave off blushing constantly through the week leading up to NEWTs by turning his attention away from the thought of Snape sending him gifts and focusing instead on studying Snape, looking beyond the sarcasm and greasy hair and trying not to focus too often on the heat the man seemed to ignite in Harry’s belly. It wasn’t as easy as Harry wanted it to be. But slowly he came to appreciate Snape’s sarcasm, so long as it wasn’t directed at Harry or his friends. And he had always known that Snape was smart, but forcing himself to look past the biting scorn allowed Harry to realize how truly intelligent Snape was. There was no question about Snape’s bravery and it actually made Harry smile when he realized that others also respected Snape and he actually had to bite back a laugh when he overheard two second year Gryffindors arguing one night about who was braver: Dumbledore or Snape.

Thoughts of Snape crowded Harry’s mind at night and kept him awake, and those thoughts often turned to imagining Snape touching and kissing him and he couldn’t help but jerk himself off to thoughts of Snape fucking him.

When the fourth package arrived with a note requesting a meeting the day after the last NEWT, Harry felt his lips curve into a smile. When he opened the package and found a potion inside, Harry laughed in delight. It was possible that Snape had hoped to be found out, he certainly could have done a better job at hiding his identity if he hadn’t; but Harry hoped it was more likely that Snape had simply tired of the game, as Harry had. He didn’t know for certain what Snape expected from a relationship with Harry, though he had high hopes that Snape wanted the same thing that Harry wanted. It was likely that Snape just wanted to establish a friendlier relationship, a way of caring for Lily’s child. But then why would Snape have gone through all the trouble to attempt to hide his identity? Harry shook his head and grinned. It didn’t matter now. And as Harry studied the potion he couldn’t help but laugh. Snape had sent him a mild sleeping draught.

With the mystery solved and a meeting scheduled, Harry turned his attention to NEWTs. To his surprise he was able to relax and ignore Hermione’s shrill anxiety that cropped up any moment they weren’t actually studying. Harry silently wished Ron all the luck in the world. While Ron fretted over NEWTs and tried to console Hermione, Harry studied for NEWTs and, when he had a spare moment, he studied for St. Mungo’s Entrance exam. He felt remarkably relaxed about the whole thing.

And before he knew it, NEWTs were over. Hermione had taken to bursting into tears any time anyone mentioned the end of the school year and the entire house had quickly learned to avoid mentioning summer when Hermione was nearby. Anyone who forgot immediately felt Ron’s wrath. And then it was the day he was to meet Snape; it was all Harry could do to get through the day. Harry knew why Snape wanted to meet late, it wouldn’t be acceptable for a professor to meet with a student while he still was a student. Though NEWTs were finished and Harry was unofficially finished at Hogwarts, he doubted anyone looking to make trouble would see it that way.

But finally it was time and Harry made his way to the Quidditch Pitch. A quick glance around showed there wasn’t anyone there yet. Harry paced around the pitch, certain that by the time he made it back around to the other side, Snape would be there. As much as he was looking forward to talking with Snape and hopefully convincing him that Harry wanted a real relationship with him, he was also nervous. He had never had time to have a real relationship and the one he had almost had had been with Ginny and very short lived. That wasn’t to say that Harry was inexperienced. On the contrary, as soon as he had announced he was gay, it seemed that every gay wizard in Brittan had shown up in Hogsmeade; and while Harry may have been a Gryffindor, he also wasn’t stupid enough to turn down free sex when it was offered.

Halfway around the pitch, Harry turned and saw someone on the other side moving toward him. Harry gulped and started toward him. But there was something off about the person walking across the pitch. He was too short, too light, too young.

“Boot?”

Terry grinned and thrust his hands into the pockets of his robe. “Hi, Harry.”

“What are you doing here?”

Terry frowned. “Meeting you. I mean, you got my note otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

“It was you?” Harry couldn’t believe it.

“Well, yes. Did you -- who did you think it was?”

Harry sighed and shook his head. “No one.” Harry smiled, or tried to at least. “I didn’t know who it was. But, er, how did you know?”

“What?” Terry asked with a small smile.

“That I was studying to be a healer?”

“Oh, that,” Terry grinned. “I overheard you back in October, talking to Snape.”

“You were spying on us?” Harry accused.

“No, of course not. I was studying and just overheard you.” Terry took a step forward and it was all Harry could do not to step back. ““I thought it was great that you wanted to be a healer. I didn’t really like you then, not….” Terry took a deep breath. “But then I kept watching you and you are very handsome, Harry.” Terry reached out and touched Harry’s hand. “And now I do like you. And I wanted to help you. You know, study for the test.” Terry grinned. “I’m taking the test in July too, and almost told you several times. I wanted to study with you, but thought it would be more fun to be a secret admirer instead.”

Harry grimaced and took a step back. “Yeah, great. Look, Terry, you’’re nice, but….”

Terry shook his head. “No, Harry, don’t say that.”

“I’m sorry. If you want your gifts back--”

“No, Harry, those were gifts.” Terry sighed. “Well, I had to try, you know? Maybe we could have a butterbeer sometime.”

“Yeah, sure,” Harry said trying desperately to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “Thank you, Terry, really. They were all great gifts. And that butterbeer sounds great. Maybe after the test in July, you know. After, well, after….”

Terry laughed softly. “Yeah, sure. After we get settled and after the test. That’ll be great.”

Harry turned toward the castle and Terry fell into step beside him. “Nice that NEWTs are over, yeah?”

“I’ve never been so glad to see the end of a school year. Though we’ve got another test coming up in four weeks.”

Harry laughed. “Not much of a break at all, is it?”

“No,” Terry laughed. “But at least after we take the entrance exam we’ll have a month to relax.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, and everything I’ve read indicated we won’t have a life for the next three years.”

“I know,” Terry sighed. “But it’ll be alright.” He huffed a laugh. “ It’s what I’ve always wanted, you know? To be a healer.”

“Really?” Harry asked as they reached the front doors and stepped, blinking against the shift in lighting, into the Entrance Hall.

Terry shrugged. “Yeah. My mum and grandmum are both healers.” He grinned. “I used to go with my mum to her practice, met all her patients. She helped a kid once, younger than me, who’d been attacked by a Quinteped. I’d never seen so much blood or anyone in so much pain. But mum never panicked or anything. Saved his life. It’s what I wanted to do ever since.”

Harry smiled. “I’m sure you’ll be great.”

Terry nodded. “I hope so.” He reached out and touched Harry on the arm. “Look, Harry, no hard feelings, right? If you don’t want to date, I’d like to be friends.”

Harry nodded. “’s alright. And I think we’ll both need friends if we get into the program.”

Terry laughed. “Yeah. And I’m sure we’ll both get in, no problems.” Terry glanced away before turning back to smile at Harry. “See you later, Harry.”

“Yeah, bye.” Harry watched him walk down another hallway and let out a deep breath. It hadn’t been Snape. Harry felt anger course through him suddenly. But it should have been Snape. Harry started moving, barely aware of where his feet were taking him until he found himself in front of Snape’s office door.

“What do you want?”

Despite the fact he had banged on Snape’s door for the past two minutes, Harry still jumped when Snape opened the door.

“It should have been you!”

Snape blinked then smirked and leaned against the door jamb. “Have I suddenly time traveled back to the year 1996?”

Harry blinked. “What?”

“I assume I have committed some horrendous act that has convinced you that I should have been punished in lieu of the true villain. Or idiot, in your godfather’s case.”

Harry took a deep breath. “This has nothing to do with Sirius.” He shook his head. “I expected to meet you and you weren’t there!”

“Potter, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Harry pushed against Snape’s chest until Snape stepped back and Harry pushed his way into Snape’s office, slamming the door behind him. “The Secret Admirer. The person who was sending me gifts to help with the healer exams and the sleep potion and the Ashwagandha plant and--”

“You have an Ashwagandha cutting?” Snape interrupted.

“Yes, I do.” Harry poked him in the chest. “And you were the one that was supposed to have sent it to me!”

Snape swatted Harry’s hand away. “What have you done with the plant?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I dried it.”

Snape nodded thoughtfully and then he glared at Harry. “Do you honestly believe that if I received an Ashwagandha Root I would give it to you of all people?”

“I don’t know why you do anything,” Harry retorted acerbically. “But no one else knew I was studying to become a healer.”

Snape crossed his arms over his chest. “Any number of people could have discovered that fact, Potter.”

“I didn’t tell anyone until after I received the Corpus.”

“I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Harry groaned and fisted his hands in his hair before he glared up at Snape again. “It was supposed to be from you! The chocolate and the plant and the Corpus and the potion were all supposed to be from you!”

“I fail to understand--”

Harry reached out and grabbed Snape before he could finish the sentence. ““It was supposed to be you,” Harry whispered against Snape’s lips. And before Snape could take a breath to retort, Harry was kissing him. And it was every bit as amazing as Harry imagined it would be. And when Snape kissed him back, it got even better. Harry moaned and clutched at Snape’s back, pressing his hips against Snape.

But then Snape was pushing him away. “What are you doing, Potter?””

“Shut up,” Harry moaned and began kissing Snape again, clutching at Snape’s shoulders and pushing him back against the wall. Harry moaned again when Snape began to clutch back. Harry gasped as Snape grabbed him, turned him, and pressed him into the wall. Snape began mouthing kisses along Harry’s neck and Harry groaned and began thrusting against Snape’s hips. Snape grunted and thrust a knee between Harry’s thighs. Harry gasped as Snape provided the perfect amount of strength and stability for him to thrust against. Harry nuzzled against Snape’s hair until Snape tilted his chin up and kissed him properly again. Harry gasped when he felt an answering hardness pressing into his belly and couldn’t help the frantic thrusts he made against Snape’s thigh and gasped again when Snape cupped his bottom and lifted him so that he was thrusting against Snape’s hips, their cocks rubbing against each other through their robes. Harry threw his head back, panting desperately as Snape held him tightly, thrusting against him, pushing him into the wall and then he was coming and clenching his fingers in Snape’s hair and Snape was still moving against him and then gasping and coming and trembling against him.

Snape held him close while their breathing slowed and then lowered Harry to his feet. Harry leaned his head on Snape’s shoulder, grateful that Snape still had hold of him, his arms wrapped firmly around Harry’s back. Harry hummed, content to relax into Snape’s embrace and wind his hands through Snape’s lank hair. Harry didn’t even mind that it was greasy. He felt too good, too comfortable leaning into Snape’s strength, feeling Snape press kisses into his hair and against his temple.

“Can you explain what this was all about, Harry?”

And Harry remembered that he was with Snape. The Snape he had dreamed about had held him and kissed him and had sex with him and smiled and laughed with him. That Snape had been his secret admirer. But Snape hadn’t been his admirer. Snape saw him as Lily’s son and a boy who had killed Voldemort and a student studying medi-wizardry. Harry took a deep breath and pushed Snape away. Snape stepped back, but not far enough to let Harry get away.

“I’m sorry.” Harry couldn’t meet Snape’s gaze. “I, er,” he huffed a brief, awkward laugh. “Sorry. I’ve been getting gifts. And I didn’t know who it was. And they knew I was studying to be a healer. But you knew,” Harry pointed at Snape. “And I didn’t think anyone else knew.” Harry began to sidle toward the door. “So I, er, convinced myself that it was you. That you liked me. And not because of my mum but because you liked me.” Harry reached the door and grasped the door knob. Snape took a step toward him, but Harry shook his head and whispered, “And I liked you. And I wanted it to be you.”

“Harry, wait,” Snape began urgently.

But Harry was shaking his head and had the door open before Snape could reach him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean….” Harry grimaced and straightened his glasses and stepped out the door. “I’m sorry. I just….” Harry shook his head and rushed down the hall. He half hoped that Snape would come after him but he couldn’t look back to see and he didn’t hear any footsteps following him. Harry took a deep breath and swallowed against the lump in his throat.

Harry could barely face the other Gryffindors the next day, but somehow he managed to get out of bed and showered and dressed and somehow dragged himself out of the portrait hole with Ron and Hermione and the other jubilant seventh years. He half expected something horrible to happen when he entered the Great Hall, visions of Snape past filling his head. He remembered all of the times Snape had gone out of his way to punish Harry and embarrass him. He almost turned and raced back to Gryffindor but was swept along with Ron and Hermione and had no chance to back out.

Harry settled at the table beside Hermione, Ron sitting across from them. Harry tried not to feel betrayed that they didn’t notice that something was wrong. They went about their regular breakfast routine: Ron piling food on his plate and Hermione scolding him for eating too much, too fast, and talking with his mouth full. Harry reached for some toast and risked a glance up at the head table. Snape wasn’t even there. Harry closed his eyes and released a heavy sigh. He had been worrying over facing Snape and he wasn’t even there.

“Everything alright, Harry?” Hermione asked cheerfully.

Harry mustered up a smile. “Yeah, ‘course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

Hermione shrugged and cheerfully returned to scolding Ron.

Harry sighed again, quietly this time. There was always the possibility that Snape was busy planning something truly horrid. Harry had attacked him, after all. Maybe Snape had called in the aurors. Or maybe he had told McGonagall that Harry had attacked him, though a quick glance at the Head Table again showed McGonagall as close to smiling as she ever came. Harry looked down at his plate. So it would probably be aurors. Harry had forced himself on Snape. Granted they hadn’t actually had sex so it probably wouldn’t be too terrible a punishment. But on the other hand, Snape seemed the type to exact his own revenge. Which meant that it would be worse than anything that aurors or McGonagall could even imagine.

Harry was completely unprepared for the owl that swooped down and dropped a letter in his lap. Hermione reached over but Harry had been expecting that from her and so was able to grab her wrist before she snagged the note from his lap.

Hermione hissed and jerked her arm away from Harry’s grasp. “Ow, Harry. You don’t have to be so grabby.”

Harry sneered at Hermione. “I could say the same to you. Can you leave your hands off my post?”

Hermione gave Harry a hurt look. “I was just curious.”

“And it’s not your letter so why don’t you let me read my post and wait for your own.”

Hermione sniffed, turned her nose up and looked away. Harry glared at her for a moment longer, glanced at Ron, who grinned at him, then opened his letter. He had suspected as soon as the owl had appeared that it was from Snape. There was no signature, but seven years of scathing remarks on his homework left no doubt that Snape had sent the letter. Harry swallowed a whimper and then gulped as he read the note.

Despite my astonishment at your show of affection last night, I would appreciate the opportunity to speak with you regarding the experience.

Harry rubbed at the sweat breaking out on his brow. He could do this. He gulped. He had to do this. No matter what Snape wanted to do to him, he at least wanted to do it out of the public eye. And Harry knew for certain that if he didn’t meet Snape in private, he would carry out his revenge in public. Harry took a deep breath and stood.

“Where are you going, Harry?” Hermione asked huffily.

Harry ignored her and walked toward the door. He reached the end of the Gryffindor table and found Ron beside him and Hermione just behind him.

“Is that from your secret admirer?” Ron pointed at the note clutched in Harry’s hand.

Harry flushed and stuffed the note in his pocket. “No.”

“Who’s it from?” Hermione asked.

Harry shook his head and began to quickly walk away, but Ron and Hermione managed to keep up with him.

“Finally going to meet him?” Ron asked, slightly out of breath as they climbed the stairs to the first floor.

Harry turned and held his hands up to stop them. “Look, I don’t need you to come along. So just go back to breakfast, okay?”

Ron and Hermione stood and stared at him but made no move to walk away. Harry shrugged and began walking away again, past caring at this point what they thought they were doing. He stopped in front of Snape’s office, gulped and knocked on the door. He had barely let his arm drop to his side when the door was wrenched open and Snape stared down at him.

“What are they doing here?” Snape jerked his chin to a spot over Harry’s shoulder.

Harry turned and glared at Ron and Hermione. “I told you to go back to breakfast.”

“He’s your secret admirer?” Ron asked incredulously.

“No. Now go away,” Harry gritted out.

“Harry, you can’t have anything to do with a teacher,” Hermione said scandalously.

“Especially with Snape!” Ron shouted.

“Just go away,” Harry hissed and glared at them until they finally turned and walked back down the corridor, though not without several anxious glances over their shoulders at him. Harry watched them until they turned a corner then turned back to Snape. “If you’re just going to humiliate me, I’d rather get it over with now.”

Snape arched a brow. “Humiliate you? Why ever would you think I intend to humiliate you?”

“’Cause of last night,” Harry said softly.

Snape grunted and reached out and dragged Harry into his office, slamming the door behind them. “I would like to know why you thought it would be appropriate to attack me last night.”

“I didn’t attack you,” Harry protested weakly.

“Oh really?” Snape said archly.

Harry cleared his throat. “Yeah. I mean. I kissed you and, er, stuff.” Harry felt his face heat and glared at Snape as he smirked at him.

“Did I invite such an attack?”

“I thought you did.”

Snape advanced on him and Harry found himself backing up.

“And yet I seem to clearly recall your anger because I was not ‘your secret admirer’. And so how do you justify kissing me and,” Snape looked Harry up and down. “Frotting against me?”

Harry gasped as he backed into the wall. Snape leaned forward, not trapping Harry, per se, but close enough that Harry felt the heat from his body.

“I thought you had sent me those things. I thought you liked me,” Harry whispered, only slightly mortified at the misery so obvious in his voice.

Snape sighed and closed his eyes briefly before he took a step back. “I do like you, Harry.”

Harry searched Snape’s eyes. “Because of my mum?”

“In part,” Snape answered softly.

Harry closed his eyes, dread spreading through his chest. “So that’s why you were so nice this past year.”

“Yes,” Snape answered, though Harry hadn’t actually asked a question. “You remind of your mother a great deal.”

“So that’s why you kissed me back last night,” Harry went on dully.

“What?” Snape practically shrieked.

Harry frowned up at him, but before he could think of something to say, they were both startled by someone knocking loudly on the door.

“Severus Snape! Open this door at once!” McGonagall said loudly.

Snape glared at Harry, Harry glared right back, and Snape went to open the door.

“Minerva,” Snape began silkily. “What can I do for you?”

McGonagall pushed her way inside. “Please wait outside, Mr. Potter.”

Harry glared at them both a moment before he walked out into the hall. The door shut behind him. Hermione and Ron were waiting for him. Hermione gave him a smug look. Ron looked nervous.

“Couldn’t wait to go and tattle, could you?” Harry sneered and crossed his arms over his chest.

Hermione propped her fists on her hips. “It’s for your own good. Snape should never have sent you those gifts.”

“I told you that Snape didn’t send them! Why don’t you ever listen to me?”

“I listen to you all the time, but you lie all the time, too, Harry Potter,” Hermione returned.

Ron took a step forward. “Now, let’s all calm down. Harry said that it wasn’t Snape and I believe him.”

Harry grinned. “Thank you, Ron.”

Hermione snorted. “Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you?”

“You know,” Ron began, “we’re not idiots, Hermione. You might try and remember that we do just fine thinking for ourselves.”

“Yeah, right,” Hermione scoffed.

“It’s not any of your business anyway, Hermione,” Harry glared at her.

“It is my business if a teacher has a crush on a student who was in his class,” Hermione hissed at him.

Harry and Ron stared at her. Harry snorted. “Of course, that’s what this is all about. You think Snape marked me higher than you because he has a crush on me.”

Hermione gasped. “That’s not it at all.”

“Of course it is,” Ron said. “You hate it when anyone does better than you.”

Hermione turned on Ron. “That is not it at all, Ronald Weasley.”

“Sure it isn’t,” Harry began, but before he could go on they were all startled by a bark of laughter from inside the office. They fell silent and watched the door until it opened several minutes later.

McGonagall walked out, clearly fighting the urge to burst into laughter. “You may go back in, Mr. Potter. I will speak to Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley in my office.” She covered her mouth with her hand a moment before she continued. “This entire situation has been cleared to my satisfaction.” McGonagall jerked her head toward the office. “Go back in there, Mr. Potter.”

Harry nodded and walked into the office, but paused to watch as McGonagall herded Ron and Hermione back down the hall. Harry closed the door and turned to stare at Snape, leaning against his desk.

“What did you say to make McGonagall laugh like that?”

Snape pointed to the chair sitting in front of him. “Sit down and I will explain.”

Harry hesitated a moment, until Snape arched a brow at him, then scurried to sit in the chair.

“You said that you believe I allowed you to kiss me, and that I kissed you back, because you remind me of your mother.”

Harry nodded, a feeling of dread spreading in his chest at the thought of where this might be heading.

Severus sighed. “Harry….”

Harry looked up as Snape paused.

Severus cleared his throat and tried again. “The reason that Minerva was laughing was because….” Snape paused and took a deep breath. “Minerva caught me,” he cleared his throat again, “with another boy when I was fourteen years old.”

Harry frowned. “What?”

Snape sighed, stood, and slumped into the chair beside Harry’s. “Harry, I never felt anything more than platonic love for your mother.” When Harry continued to frown at him, he explained. “Lily was my friend. And only my friend. I never had romantic feelings for her.”

Harry’s expression cleared. “Oh. Oh,” he repeated, suddenly understanding. “McGonagall caught you with another boy.” He snickered and Snape glared. “Sorry. So you never loved my mother.”

“Of course I loved Lily,” Snape protested. “She was my best friend.”

Harry grinned. “You know what I mean.”

Snape sniffed and looked away.

“So when I kissed you. And, and then you kissed me back. It was because, er….”

Snape looked at him archly. “Please, go on.”

Harry grinned. “So you do like me.”

“You are very attractive. I believe the question should be why did you kiss me?” Snape finished softly.

Harry stood, the grin falling from his face, and stood in front of Snape. ““Do you think I care that you have greasy hair and a big nose?”

“Oh, thank you so much, Potter,” Snape spat and tried to stand, but Harry stepped closer, leaving no room for Snape to stand.

“I know I’m young and you think I’m stupid, but I’m not. I know what people think of me. The same thing you used to think of me. But I’m not like that. And I know you know that now. You would never have kissed me back because I’m Harry Potter.”

“But you thought I would kiss you because Lily Evans was our mother,” Snape said quietly.

“You loved my mum. And when you almost died last year, you looked in my eyes. And I know you saw her eyes.”

Snape nodded, not even trying to deny it.

“And I didn’t know that you were gay,” Harry continued.

“Then why did you come here last night?”

Harry blushed, hearing the double entendre in Snape’s words. “Because I thought you were my secret admirer. I thought that because you knew I wanted to be a Healer, because all of the gifts I received were things that would help me, because you’ve been so kind this past year, that maybe you did like me. Like that.”

Snape pressed a hand to Harry’s belly, pushing him back several steps, and stood up. “You have known me for eight years, Potter. What would ever lead you to believe that I would secretly give you gifts? Do you believe that I have ever hidden my feelings for you?”

Harry shook his head. “No. I’ve always known how you felt about me.”

“Have you?” Snape asked softly, cupping a hand around Harry’s chin. He tilted Harry’s face up. “Are you delusional?”

Harry grinned. “No.”

“Do you have a death wish?”

Harry chuckled. “Not anymore.”

Snape grunted. “Then shall we just chalk it up to Gryffindor stupidity?”

“Well, someone had to be brave enough to take the first step.”

Snape stared down at him, running a thumb gently under his eye. “You have your mother’s eyes.” Snape smiled. “No one ever looked at me with such kindness as she did. And now you.”

Harry blinked. “Thank you.”

Snape leaned closer. “Don’t thank me.”

Harry moaned and leaned closer, brushing his lips against Snape’s. “Can I thank you later?”

Snape chuckled. “If you think you need to.”

Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around Snape’s shoulders. “Are you going to thank me?”

Snape snorted as he wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist. “If you deserve it.”

Harry laughed for a moment and leaned up to kiss Snape but Snape met him halfway.

Harry was amazed at how easy it was to fall into a relationship with Severus. They had already been getting along, but after Harry ‘attacked’ him everything became much easier. And it wasn’t just the snogging and the touching and the fondling and, finally, the sex, but talking with Severus was so much easier than he had ever imagined. Severus supported him without question. He was surprisingly knowledgeable about all magic, including healing. Harry felt no hesitation turning to Severus for help while he studied for St. Mungo’s entrance exam.

Harry went to Grimmauld Place after the Leaving Feast, but found himself back at Hogwarts in Severus’ quarters the next day. Severus simply rolled his eyes and made room for Harry’s meager belongings in his wardrobe. Harry spent the weeks leading up to the entrance exam alternately annoying Severus by asking him potions questions and annoying Madam Pomfrey with questions about healing spells. Harry never knew for certain, but he suspected they had set up a schedule to pass him off to each other when he became too annoying.

The day of the test arrived and Harry didn’t feel at all prepared, though both Severus and Poppy, as he had been encouraged to call her, assured him that he was more than ready. And Harry realized they were right. As soon as he sat down with the test paper in front of him, Harry felt himself relax and realized that he knew this. Despite one disruption, when a girl two chairs over from him jumped up and ran from the room crying, Harry didn’t have any problems at all. He exchanged commiserating comments with Terry Boot at the Leaky Cauldron after the exam, then hurried back to Hogwarts and Severus, where he was given a strong sleeping draught and tucked into bed.

Severus kept him there throughout the next day, sleeping most of the time, but waking him occasionally for meals and sex. Severus sent him off the day after to Poppy where he spent the day recapping every question on the test while helping her organize her supplies and create lists of what was needed before the semester started.

The week between the test and when the results had been promised seemed to last forever. Poppy took her vacation and left Severus to keep Harry occupied. Severus tended to disappear into the forest for long stretches of time, ostensibly to gather potions ingredients, but Harry suspected he was escaping Harry’s restless pacing, especially since Slughorn was still Hogwarts potions master.

Harry managed to surprise Severus in his office the day the results had been promised. Severus looked rather disgruntled at being caught, but seemed happy enough to set Harry to work preparing ingredients. He took one look at the mangled mandrake root Harry presented and banished him to the other side of the lab.

Harry settled into a chair and seemed content to mumble and sigh and tap his foot in a nervous beat. Across the room, Severus clenched his hands around the handle of the knife. After several minutes Harry stood, walked around the table, fondled the prepared ingredients Severus had already set aside, then stood across the table from Severus and sighed again. “What if they don’t let me in?”

“They will let you in,” Severus answered shortly and continued chopping the mandrake root.

“But what if they don’t. I mean, it seemed awfully easy. What if I got everything wrong? And then that girl ran out of the room crying!”

“You know the material, Potter,” Severus began shortly. “That girl was not prepared. You annoyed Poppy and I for weeks before you took the test.”

“But what if --”

Severus stuck the knife into the board, cast a cleaning charm on his hands, stalked around the table, grabbed Harry’s wrist and dragged him along behind him as he stalked toward his quarters.

“Snape! Wait! What are you doing?”

“I am attempting to exhaust you so that you cease that annoying prattle!”

“But what if --”

Severus swung Harry around and cupped his face in his hands, kissing Harry deeply and leaving him breathless. “You know the material. You asked annoying questions for weeks. The fact that you were not worried during the test indicates that you were well prepared. Now stop worrying!”

“But if I stop worrying does that mean you’re not going to shag me?” Harry asked with a small grin, though he couldn’t quite keep the worry from his eyes.

Severus smirked and stroked Harry’s cheek. “Perhaps I’ll just bugger you once today.” He turned and led Harry through the halls

Harry chuckled as they neared Snape’s quarters. “I’m really scared that --”

Severus quickly lowered his face to Harry’s and continued to guide him through his quarters toward the bedroom. Harry stopped thinking and began focusing on the sensations that Severus was creating in him. Instead of worrying over the test he focused on Severus’ hands as they undressed him, fingers running over his torso, teasing his nipples to hard nubs, tickling his ribs and then kissing Harry while he laughed. Severus seemed to especially enjoy kissing Harry when he smiled or laughed and Severus had quickly discovered where Harry was ticklish and always focused intently on those places. Harry had never imagined that Snape could ever make him laugh or that Severus would ever laugh with him, but over the past four weeks Harry had laughed more with Severus than he could ever remember laughing in his life. Despite the worry over the entrance exams, Harry had had the best month of his life after leaving Hogwarts. That it was with Severus was astonishing, but it was true.

Harry gasped as Severus bit down on the side of his neck then leaned up to stare down at him.

“You were thinking too much.”

“I thought you liked it when I think.”

Severus frowned at the sentence and shook his head. “Not at a time like this.”

Harry giggled, grabbed Severus and flipped him down onto the bed, hovering over him. “I’m sorry. I’ll try and pay more attention.” Harry lowered his head to Severus’ chest, licking and biting at his nipples before licking a path down his belly. Harry chuckled against Severus’ stomach as Severus sighed and let Harry take control. Harry didn’t waste any time, removing Severus’ trousers and straddling his legs.

Severus grinned up at him. “I seem to be entirely at your mercy.”

Harry smiled down at him. “Never thought you’d find yourself in this position, did you?”

Severus chuckled. “Somehow, I don’t mind.”

Harry smiled and leaned down again. Harry forgot about everything except the flesh under his hands and mouth. He loved the smell of Severus: the slight smell of potion ingredients that always clung to him, the nearly overwhelming scent of Severus’ arousal, and underneath it all that smell of magic and power and Severus. Harry cupped Severus’ cock, grinning against his stomach as Severus groaned and pushed his hips against Harry’s hand.

He lowered his head, curling his tongue around the head of his cock a moment before lifting his head and grinning down at Severus. “Want to help me take my trousers off?”

Severus arched a brow and Harry laughed and kneeled up just enough to shove his trousers down to his knees. Severus’ eyes immediately dropped to his cock. Harry chuckled again and shifted to shove his trousers off, throwing them on the floor despite Severus’ scowl and straddled Severus’ thighs again.

“Do you trust me?”

Severus smirked up at him and folded his hands behind his head. “We are naked in my bed. Are you honestly asking if I trust you?”

Harry chuckled and reached for the lube on the nightstand. “You do seem awfully relaxed.”

Severus pushed his hips up, nearly unseating him, and glared up at Harry. ““Do you truly believe I’m relaxed?”

Harry grinned. “Well, perhaps ‘relaxed’ wasn’t quite the right word.” Harry reached behind him and began preparing himself.

“Turn around,” Severus gasped.

Harry chuckled and turned around, still astride Severus’ thighs, and bent low over Severus’ knees. Harry groaned when he realized how exposed he was to Severus’ gaze. He reached awkwardly behind him and stroked his fingers over his arse, tracing over his crack and circling his hole.

Severus sat up, gripping Harry’s hips and pushing him further over. He wrapped a hand around Harry’s wrist, guiding his fingers to his hole. “You’re supposed to be preparing yourself.”

Harry gave a breathless laugh and pushed his fingers into him. Harry rested his forehead on Severus’ leg; he began moving his hips, thrusting his fingers into himself and pushing his cock against Severus’ thigh. He heard Severus groan and smiled.

“Enough,” Severus growled and pulled Harry’s hand away from his arse. He grasped Harry’s hips with one hand, pushing and shoving until Harry had shifted enough so that his hole lined up with Severus’ cock.

Harry groaned as Severus pulled him down onto his cock, pulling his torso up so that Harry was nearly leaning back into Severus’ chest as he was lowered onto his cock. “You’ve no idea how delectable you are, do you?” Severus snarled into his ear.

Harry groaned again, letting Severus move him how he wanted, shifting him, moving him closer until Harry could lay his head back on Severus’ shoulder; pulling him back and down lower on his cock, until Harry’s thighs started to cramp from the position. “Fuck me.”

Severus chuckled. “I am.”

Harry whimpered and tried to shift his weight, trying to get Severus’ cock to move inside him. “Please, Severus.”

Severus bit down on Harry’s earlobe. “Ask nicely.”

“I just did,” Harry gasped.

Severus leaned back, pulling Harry back with him. Harry propped his feet flat on the bed, causing them both to gasp as Harry settled further onto Severus’ cock.

“Can you move?” Severus growled.

Harry lifted himself slightly, thanking every deity he could think of for Quidditch and broom races and the muscles those activities had developed in his thighs. Severus gripped his hips tightly, moving Harry on his cock. Harry clenched his hands on Severus’ legs, arching his back, letting Severus move him.

“Harry,” Severus gasped.

Harry laughed and clenched his arse around Severus’ cock.

Severus growled, wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist and twisted them around, holding Harry close so his cock never slipped out, and pressed Harry down onto the bed.

Harry sighed as Severus’ weight settled over him and Severus set up a slow rhythm, moving inside him. Harry moaned. “Love this. Love having you in me. On me.” He sighed again and twisted his face around as much as he could to smile at Severus.

Severus smiled back and traced Harry’s ear with his nose. “I never would have expected you to enjoy this so much.”

“Admit it. You’ve wanted me in this position for years.”

Severus chuckled. “Not precisely this position.”

Harry laughed then gasped as Severus leaned back onto his knees and pulled Harry’s hips into his own, setting up a harder, faster rhythm. Harry let everything go, concentrating on Severus moving in him, gripping his hips hard, Severus’ breath against the back of his neck. He could feel Severus’ sweaty chest moving against his back; could hear the increasingly desperate grunts as Severus began slamming into Harry and Harry knew it wouldn’t be long. And then Severus was shaking and cursing and coming and Harry gasped as he felt Severus empty himself inside him.

Severus collapsed onto his back, pushing him into the bed. Harry clenched his arse around Severus’ cock, holding him inside.

Severus pressed a kiss to Harry’s neck. “What do you want?”

Harry sniffed. “I want you to fuck me.”

Severus chuckled. “I just did. And you’re much too young to have such control.”

Harry laughed. “Just stay in me as long as you can.”

Severus grunted and began moving his hips against Harry’s arse.

Harry moaned as the motion rubbed his cock against the bed. “Yes.” The motion barely moved them, but it was enough. And Severus was on top of him and Severus’ cock was still inside him and Harry didn’t need much more than that. And then Severus began sucking on his neck and Harry groaned and moved his hips between the bed and Severus’ hips as much as he could. And then, somehow, Severus snaked a hand beneath Harry and pressed his palm against Harry’s cock and it was so good to have Severus touching him and then Harry was coming and moving smoothly in the come pooling in Severus’ palm and he whimpered as Severus’ pressed his hips down harder and Harry didn’t know how it was possible but he kept coming and coming and he never wanted it to stop.

Harry had no idea how much time had passed before Severus shifted off of him. Harry moaned, missing the heat and pressure from Severus’ body, but was quickly gathered into Severus’s arms. He was sticky and slightly sore, but curled into Severus’ arms, flinging an arm and a leg around Severus to hold him closer.

“I don’t like to cuddle,” Severus complained, but still tightened his arms around Harry.

“I know. You say that every time.” Harry smiled. “Fuck me again.”

Severus snorted. “In a minute.”

Harry laughed. “You weren’t working on anything important, were you?”

“It’ll keep,” Severus answered sleepily.

Harry hummed and snuggled into Severus’ chest. “When are you going to fuck me again?”

Severus chuckled. “Demanding little bottom, aren’t you?”

“It’s all your fault, you know.”

Severus chuckled again before he snarled, “What is that infernal noise?”

“What noise?” Harry asked, tilting his head back and listening. “Is someone knocking at your door?”

Severus rolled out of bed and shrugged into a robe. “Not someone.” He disappeared into the other room.

Harry sighed and flopped onto his back, wiping a corner of the sheet over his belly, cleaning away the mess drying there. He closed his eyes and grinned, thinking of the rogering he’d just received and shifting against the mattress so he could better feel the ache in his arse. He flinched when something was dropped on his chest and opened his eyes in time to catch the scroll rolling off of him. He knew immediately what it was and sat up. He looked around at Severus, standing in the doorway watching him.

“I didn’t really expect it today.”

Severus approached the bed, though he didn’t join Harry in it. “Open it.”

Harry turned the scroll over and over in his hands. “What if I didn’t get in? What if I didn’t do well enough on the exam?”

Severus crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at Harry. “We’ve been over this, Potter.”

Harry rolled his eyes, but made no move to open the scroll. He looked up at Severus and tried to smile. “Maybe you should just distract me again.”

“After you open the scroll,” Severus sneered.

Harry gulped and looked down at the scroll. He traced his thumb over the embossed seal. “What if I didn’t make it?” he whispered.

Severus curled his fingers around Harry’s chin and tilted his face up. “You forget that I helped you study for this exam. Open the scroll, Harry.”

Harry took a deep breath and nodded. He opened the seal before he lost his courage again and read the letter so quickly he couldn’t really tell what it said. He read it again and again and only started breathing again when he started seeing spots in front of his eyes. He gasped for breath and closed his eyes. He opened his eyes and looked up at Severus. “I got in.” He handed Severus the scroll. Severus had barely wrapped his fingers around the parchment when Harry jumped up at him and shouted, “I got in!”

Severus stumbled backwards a few steps, wrapping his arms around Harry as Harry wrapped his arms and legs around Severus. Severus chuckled. “All that worry for nothing.”

“Uh huh,” Harry murmured against Severus’ neck. “Feel up to celebrating?”

Severus chuckled and banished the scroll to the desk in the corner without reading it. “I’m sure you can persuade me.”

Harry pressed a brief kiss to Severus’ mouth. “And I’m sure my apprenticeship will be stressful too. You’ll probably have to distract me from worry an awful lot over the next three years.”

“I’m sure you’re right.” He dropped Harry onto the bed and stretched out over him. “I’ll help however I can,” he continued with a grin.

Harry laughed and wrapped his legs around Severus’ waist. “Feel like fucking me yet?”

Severus leaned down and kissed Harry’s throat. “Soon.” He pushed Harry’s legs away and rolled out of bed.

Harry sat up and stared after him as he stalked out of the room. Harry frowned and tried to figure out if he had insulted Severus in some way, but even as he racked his brain, Severus returned with a small package.

Severus cleared his throat and held the package out to Harry. “This arrived several days ago.”

Harry took the package from him. “Okay.”

“Open it,” Severus ordered through gritted teeth, though he also looked nervous as Harry tore into the paper.

Harry gasped as the paper fell away and the cover of Healing Curses came into view.

“You seemed to show some interest in specializing in curse damage.” Severus cleared his throat. “I know that you have only just begun to build your library and even if you don’t choose to specialize --”

Harry flung himself at Snape who caught him with an ‘oof’. “Thank you!” Harry clung tightly to Severus and pressed his nose against Severus’ neck. “Thank you. I actually did decide to specialize in reversing curse damage. I just didn’t want to say anything to jinx my chances of getting in.”

Severus sighed and wrapped his arms around Harry. “Foolish boy.”

Harry chuckled and leaned back. “My first gift from my not so secret admirer.”

“And you didn’t even read the inscription,” Severus remarked dryly.

Harry turned away and reached for his book. “There’s an inscription?”

Severus snorted and pulled Harry back into his arms. “You can read it later.”

Harry laughed as Severus kissed him. “So you’re ready to fuck me again?” Harry gasped as Severus began pressing kisses to Harry’s neck.

“I’m certain you can find some better use for your mouth than speaking.”

Harry laughed and set about distracting Severus as much as Severus was distracting him.